My Counseling Philosophy

Contacting a counselor and participating in counseling are some of the bravest steps a person can take in life. It is an act of humility and vulnerability to reach out to another person, to expose the parts of life that you are struggling with, and ask for help. Engaging in counseling is an act of strength of your will and care for yourself and for the others that you are in relationships with. I rise up and applaud you!

People are multifaceted and are layered in thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. Behavior serves a purpose, good or bad behavior, producing positive or negative results. Thoughts and feelings are constructed over a lifetime and carry aspects of your family of origin, your personal experiences, your education, your religion and spirituality, and your social circles. Sometimes the results of our behaviors, thoughts, and feelings are unpleasant enough to drive us to change.

That’s where I come in. I can help you filter through the tangled thoughts, feelings, and behaviors so that you can make sense of yourself and your world in order for you to decide what you want to do. I empower you to become and be the “you” that you want to be.

My marriage counseling philosophy is that it is the merging of two people becoming one. Sometimes the merging process is messy and it seems as if the husband and wife are not compatible. Sometimes there are disconnects where connections should be and connections where disconnects ought to be. Sometimes there are too many people speaking into the marriage and we need to filter out the unhealthy ones and listen to the healthy ones. Sometimes unresolved problems in the past affect us negatively in the present.

In marriage counseling, we identify the thoughts, feelings, and behaviors that underlie ineffective and negative patterns and create a plan for positive change to increase marital satisfaction. I empower husbands and wives to make decisions, to have a voice, and to become their own expert. I create a safe place to have conflict and disagree, to have strong emotions, and to say the unsayable. I also create a safe place where hearts and minds can mend, resolutions are developed, and intimacy is cultivated.

I can help you work through: learning new ways to communicate effectively; conflict resolution; restoring connection; building intimacy; infidelity/affair; reconnecting sexually; and address empty nester problems.

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